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We have all the top tips and ideas for planning your gay or lesbian wedding.
Who Should Marry Us?
There are lots of options for officiants — the trick will be finding the right one for you. We recommend Liz at Unity – one of the top celebrants in the North West. You can also ask a dear friend or relative can do you the honor. If you’d like to have a religious ceremony, speak with a minister to which you or your partner belong.
How Does the Ceremony Work?
Your ceremony itself is a binding ritual so make it truly personal. Start with the basic outline of a traditional wedding as a starting point, and personalize it from there. The basic components include:
The Greeting/Call to Attention: Your officiant tells guests they’re here to support the commitment and love between the two of you, and may say a few words about you and your relationship.
Declaration of Intent/Vows: Writing your own vows is a great way to celebrate your commitment to each other — and its uniqueness. You can draw what you like from traditional religious or secular vows; adapt wordings from poems, songs, and prose; or start from scratch and express your feelings in your own words.
Ring Exchange: Perhaps you’ve already given each other rings, and maybe now you’ll add bands to go with them or re-enact the ring exchange with a few special words. You may choose not to wear your rings on your left hands, which might suggest that you’re married the “traditional” way. Many gay and lesbian couples wear commitment rings on their right hands. You may also choose a nontraditional design and wear it on the traditional finger.
Readings/Joining Rituals: You don’t necessarily have to address gay issues in your readings; you could read about love, friendship, companionship, trust, growth, or whatever tickles your fancy.
Pronouncement of Marriage and the Kiss: This part speaks for itself!
What Do We Wear?
Just like any bride or groom, whatever you like! Some lesbian couples walk down the aisle in traditional wedding gowns and veils, complete with bridal bouquets, and some choose “tuxedas” (tuxedos designed for women). Men might choose traditional formal wear or nice suits purchased especially for the occasion. You can wear identical ensembles or choose separate outfits that complement your individual styles. The bottom line: Whatever style you choose, make it your own.
Can We Have a Wedding Party?
If you want your closest friends at your side during the ceremony, by all means, ask them! Traditionally, the maid of honor and best man are “witnesses” — they sign the legal marriage document, along with you two and your officiant. And remember that the terms “bridesmaids” and “groomsmen” are totally optional.
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